Jacking Around

Each part of this country has their own local color, or regional terminology. In the Midwest, jacking around & drinking beer are part of college life. Jacking around is defined as straight guys getting together and giving each other shit. It’s been going on for eons. Inebriation is a required part of the Midwest version of this primitive male ritual, the object of which is to thicken one’s skin, and weed out the pussies.

It involves getting really personal & obnoxiously in-your-face. It means disrespecting conventional social boundaries. Hence no gays ever last very long at this, as they have too many emotional issues. Feminine perspectives are also disregarded. This is the male equivalent of a bitch-fest.

If you wanna to jack, you gotta strap on a sack, and hang with the business & communications majors (and other rich kids taking easy college classes), who have too much time on their hands. It provides valuable real-world business skills, and is part of the full dormitory & campus experience. For what higher education costs today, you need to realize full value as a student.

Here’s how it goes, imagine a huge keg party with hundreds of underage college kids getting as drunk as possible for $2 or less, until the cops show up. Things are slow (meaning no babes in sight), so maybe you go up to someone in a group, and start jacking around.

After a few brief introductions & friendly toasts, you perhaps insinuate (to another in the group) that their manhood has just been impugned by the person standing next to you. It’s something you just made up on-the-spot, but it’s also based on observation of tendencies and mannerisms. It often gets something going, and you can then confide to the one you’ve implicated, who’s ear is right next to you…

Another party example: someone is pouring their heart out to a group over some horrible misfortune, and when he’s finished and everyone is tear-in-a-beer quiet & sympathetic, you loudly exclaim, “Really? I heard you liked that!”  Once the first bystander laughs, it’s over. Of course, it helps to be a comedian, and you need brass balls. You can get quite a reputation (in a hurry) doing this.

One more. A young girl is puking her guts out into the bushes, with her friend looking after her. Just as she finishes and picks up her head, with vomit hanging off her chin, you ‘help’ by reminding her, “Whatever you do, don’t think about eating greasy pork sandwiches with thick gobs of mayonnaise.” If there’s anything left in her stomach it will come up, and who’s to say you haven’t done her a favor?

When people get drunk, they lose track of what’s going on, as well as control of their inhibitions. A situation can escalate in seconds, and be re-ignited at will by a master jacker. Once both sides are on high-testosterone alert, he can drop in a jack– such as, “Hey, if you wanna let him show you up, and be a pussy, that’s cool with me,” and then back off while shaking your head.  As you drift towards another group, a muscle-headed argument will often erupt in your wake!  You can then offer the new group your version of events, as everyone is interested in first-hand gossip…

Believe me, I was an amateur when I was introduced. My college buddies were merciless on me, and anyone else that tried to compete with them. It is an effective way to manipulate impulsive people, but also very dangerous– which is why people get such a kick out of doing it. The jazz of it can be addicting, as well as fascinating to observe. I mostly went along, participating some, while seeing the dark humor in it, but always disdaining the mean-spirited destructiveness it spawned. The lesson being, you have to stop before it turns cruel, and becomes bad karma.

With that said, there is a perverse (but also healthy) pleasure in making hysterical & self-absorbed people breakdown. They deserve it. Being intelligent, direct & relentless is how to jack. It helps to be resourceful, along with knowing when to stop. It’s usually just after yet another head-case is about to lose it, and you ask them “What’s wrong, you can’t take a jack?”

…..<><><><><>….