What Happens to a Snowflake?

This article is satire, which forms ideas. See also: Snowflake– ice crystals (Wikipedia).

This is a snowflake.

A snowflake is a single ice crystal that falls through the Earth’s atmosphere as snow.

A snowflake doesn’t just form out of nothing, it must nucleate around something. In nature, a dust particle in a supersaturated air mass (clouds), freezes water vapor into crystal. In society, snowflakes form in a similar manner, around whatever is convenient.

In nature, the cohesive forces that form snowflakes are primarily electrostatic. ALL snowflakes are precipitated into formation by strong outside forces, then left to develop their own brand of uniqueness– in a supersaturated environment.

Snowflakes (evidentially) have eight broad classifications, and at least 80 individual variants. I did not know that.

The shape of a snowflake is determined primarily by the temperature & humidity (ie- the conditions) in which it is formed. These environmental factors absolutely & completely determine whether a snowflake will even form, its characteristics, and when it will fall.

No two snowflakes are perfectly identical, although they are difficult to differentiate upon casual inspection. You must look very closely (and very quickly) at a snowflake to notice everything that is unique about it. It’s the definition of an impossible task, if you know what I mean?

Snow appears white in color despite being made of clear ice. This is due to physics & diffraction of light. Some people try to assign unscientific reasons for snowflakes appearing white. These people are called reactionaries & political opportunists.

If snowflakes could speak, they would insist on everlasting reverence to their unique & fleeting beauty. Can you imagine EVERY snowflake screaming this?! That would be one helluva blizzard!! You would need more than a shovel and a good pair of boots to handle that snowstorm.

In nature, snowflakes are always silent, and once they hit the ground they coalesce into snowpack. At this point the snowflake no longer exists, as a dialectical change [!] has occurred. The snowflake’s uniqueness (that once was so fascinating), has now congealed into a more sustainable (albeit transitory) form. In order to prevent complete rapid melting, the snowflake must become part of the pack, to save itself.

With global warming kicking in big-time, the remaining snowpack doesn’t stand a chance for very long anymore. Spring springs earlier every year now, which quickly heats up into longer summers. Eventually the pristine imagery of snowflakes & white drifting snow, melt into muddy slush. The snowflake becomes reclaimed water, which drains into the ground for filtering & recycling.

That’s what happens to a snowflake.