Once upon a time there was an ugly princess who wanted to be President. Even as a little girl, she told everyone, “I don’t want to be in the kitchen baking cookies, I want to be President!” Everyone laughed & laughed, which only re-doubled her resolve.
This ugly princess came from a wealthy family, and married to achieve her dream. One day when she was walking alone in a dark forest, an ogre approached her with a deal. He proposed, “I have the chops & political connections to be President. You have the money & family name. Let’s get married, so I can be President, then I’ll make you President.”
The ugly princess was delighted to be made such an offer she couldn’t refuse. This was a kingdom where anyone could be elected President, and her husband served two terms in that capacity, making himself the most powerful member of his political party.
But things never quite worked out for the ugly princess. It was as if the deal she made with the ogre was cursed. For instance, as First lady, she was publicly cuckolded, as her husband was impeached by the House of Representatives for lying about getting blown by an intern. But what could she do? She wanted to be President, so she stood by her man. It was the only way.
As a member of the imperial Senate, the ugly princess was viewed as a thoroughly establishment figurine, instead of the rising Presidential hopeful she desired to be. It was a dark star that rose in her place, and cruelly snatched the party nomination away from her. The ugly princess howled & screamed during the process, but eventually was made to understand the realpolitik, and became Secretary of State.
At the same time this was going on, there was a handsome, wise & courageous prince who was forced to live as a pauper. His unfortunate situation came about very early in life, when he was walking alone through a dark forest, and a wicked witch bumped into him & took offense. The wicked witch hated beauty, so she said to the handsome boy prince, “I’m going to cast a spell on you, so no matter how smart you are, no one will believe you, until you are kissed by a beautiful princess.”
Then she waved her hands & cackled, “Fee-fi-fo-fum; this man shall be wise, but people with think he’s dumb,” and with that, and a ‘poof’ she was gone. The boy studied hard, took all the toughest classes, and never let the establishment crack him. But the wicked witch’s spell took hold, as every time success seemed within his grasp, it would evaporate. The goalposts were forever moved back & narrowed, to the point where it was futility to attempt financial success.
The handsome, yet poor, prince told everyone of these truths, but few, if any listened. They ignored, blocked & de-friended him for telling the facts. This was indeed a nasty spell, cast by an evil sorceress. There were deep state campaigns, in which the ugly princess attacked the handsome prince on every front, political, economic & personal, with dirty tricks campaigns, spying & blacklisting.
When it was finally the ugly princess’ time to run for President again, the field was presumably cleared for her, by her powerful husband. But an old windbag making leftists sounds took the lead, and the ugly princess was again drowning. So the Black Hand again intervened, with a nefarious squeeze play, to get the old windbag to sabotage & abandon his campaign– in a bow of respect to the ugly princess & her ogre husband. This was revealed by WikiLeaks, as DNC staffers leaked damaging emails & speeches to Goldman Sachs by the ugly princess, implicating them in rigging the 2016 primary.
This culminated in the ugly princess losing to a Nazi, to the shock of a nation. In the early hours of November 9, 2016, while much of the nation was stunned & speechless, the wise prince published “Fascism Wins Election 2016,” then on November 12, “The Swift & Sudden Death of U.S. Liberalism,” and on November 13, “Hillary Clinton: A Political Obituary.”
Nazis had indeed taken over the White House, and over the next three years, chaos & hatred was broadcast everywhere. The ugly princess did everything she could to shift the blame for this catastrophe onto anyone but herself. It was mostly the “Russians” and “internet trolls” that were blamed, as “fake news” came into our lexicon. The handsome & wise prince suffered more than ever. The problem for the ugly princess was that no one believed her lies, despite her monopoly grip on the media narrative.
So the courageous prince never stopped broadcasting the truth, and eventually more & more people started paying attention, as censorship can’t hold forever. The resourceful prince took up the guitar, and became the Pied Piper, but that’s another fairy tale. Anyways, the wicked witch’s spell had finally been broken, so when it came time for another Presidential carnival campaign, the ugly princess was left out of the primary.
But the ugly princess still had her ogre husband by the royal jewels, so she again demanded, “I want to be President.” As luck would have it, just as the political campaign season was going into full swing, a horrible & incurable black plague swept over every land. This crashed the global economy, which was already on a knife-edge– about to be swallowed up in a mountain of unpayable debt. This crisis ruined any re-election hopes for the Nazi incumbent.
As far as the party primary went, again the old windbag ranted about inequality & unfairness, while offering nothing of substance, before ceding to leadership and betraying his followers. A zombie placeholder was made the presumptive party nominee for President. The zombie was made to declare that his running mate for Vice-President will be a women.
This creates a situation where the ugly princess can still become President, by removing the semi-senile imbecile after the election victory, through dirty tricks party maneuvering, and a media attack led by the #MeToo campaign. The most useful tools for the ugly princess are: #MeToo & Black Lives Matter. The LGBT liberals have no power, because conservative don’t care about fags, so they have to support the “liberals.”
The problem for the ugly princess is that she, and her favorite tools, are considered toxic by party leaders outside the palace, as well as all the voters. This puts their Presidential campaign back into the margin-of-error, which is alarming. Any time an election falls within the margin-of-error anymore, the right-wing party wins, because it’s about dirty tricks and they are more adept at that game. The last time a left-wing party won the Presidency within the margin-of-error was Camelot, and that’s another fairy tale too.
The announcement of the ugly princess for VP will be unacceptable to the masses. It will ultimately lead to a revolution, where all the evil & ugly people are exposed, prosecuted & then thrown into a dungeon for the rest of their days. The working people will be the leaders in gathering together & socializing without the distinction of classes, to create a better society where everyone lives happily ever after.