Tag Archives: The Octagon (1980)

Chuck Norris movies as comedy

Posted on by

Unacknowledged comedies happen because media bias becomes so influential that many viewers can’t comprehend what they are watching. You have to have intelligence to recognize the humor in an unbelievable situation that is presented & promoted as deadly serious. This is how camp & cult classics come about in film. Chuck Norris rightly belongs in this camp. The Chuck Norris movies from his classic period, 1979-1985, are his only watchable films, proving there are limits to badness which an educated viewer shouldn’t go past. I’ll stay within the era to illustrate some Chuck Norris laughs you may have missed & why.

To start at the beginning, Chuck Norris was a middle-weight kick boxing champion when few people followed the sport. Before that he was in the US Air Force, which clearly shaped his views on politics. Chuck Norris trained under Bruce Lee, and got his film break when he was a fight villain in Return of the Dragon (1972), written, directed by & starring Bruce Lee. This film, also known as The Way of the Dragon, was made in Hong Kong and has been widely dubbed into English. Not even Chuck Norris’ voice survives, as this movie deserves subtitles with no dubbing to hear Bruce Lee’s authentic voice in Chinese, along with the rest of the characters, but a dubbed version is still worthwhile because it’s really about the Bruce Lee fight scenes. If you ever wanted to see Chuck Norris get killed in a fight, as he deserves, then watch Return of the Dragon.

Enter the Dragon (1973) was produced by Warner as a US release in English and was Bruce Lee’s final completed film. After Bruce Lee tragically died in July 1973, Chuck Norris began boasting in the media that he was an equal of Bruce Lee in fighting & developing in his own system– which clearly wasn’t true. Jackie Chan, along with billions of Asians who love martial arts, have taken fierce exception to Chuck Norris for this. It’s helpful to know that when watching Chuck Norris movies.

Bruce Lee’s Jeet Kune Do revolutionized hand-to-hand fighting, training, philosophy, etc; while Chuck Norris’ limited & brutal kick-boxing style– didn’t. He was an early world champion when no one cared, and those who did were watching Bruce Lee. Bruce Lee, along with Arnold Schwarzenegger in body building, were the earliest true-action movie stars– meaning they could really do it. Before them it was guys like Sean Connery, who could act, but weren’t athletes.

Chuck Norris can’t act, but he can do action. Chuck Norris sorta filled the action movie void that fans were craving for before The Terminator (1984) & Rambo (1982 & 1985) took over. The first classic Chuck Norris comedy is A Force of One (1979), definitely one of my favorites from him. This is low-budget work from American Cinema, shot over the Christmas holidays, as it keeps referencing itself as a Christmas movie but by the end it hardly feels Christmassy. It feels like a raw martial arts action movie, with no acting talent except Clu Gulager. In the trailer for this movie, he is called “Clu Gallagher” which should give the viewer an idea about the attention-to-detail in A Force of One.

Other comic delights include the guy who later played Angel Fernandez who got chainsawed to death in Scarface (1983). Here he is one of the cops that gets his neck broken by the masked karate killer terrorizing Los Angeles. In his lone encounter with Chuck Norris, he says, “We’re gonna comb the west side, then meet some Colombians at the Sun Ray Motel about two keys of ya-yo. Catch you later.” I least I think he says that, and when I do I laugh.

A bad movie means you must press the riff button in your head. That means it’s now okay to speak out loud as the movie is running, because the movie isn’t holding your attention, it’s insulting it. The original MST3K (1989-99) taught us that.

In A Force of One, it’s a good thing we have Chuck Norris ready to teach these amateur LA cops how to defend themselves. Keep in mind, this is presented as hard hitting reality action on film. Another thing about Chuck Norris movies is that you don’t want to be his best friend, buddy, or police partner– because you will get killed. It happens to Chuck Norris’ step-son in A Force of One, and it’s all about revenge & vengeance from there. No sorrow or regrets as a step-father from Chuck Norris.

Jennifer O’Neill breaks that stereotype by living, but she is completely useless, unable to do the required stunts believably, and can’t act. She’s semi-pretty but clearly fading due to anorexia & the Hollywood lifestyle. At the climactic end, when Chuck Norris has unmasked the karate killer and they are having their fight-to-the-death amongst ex-US Special Forces soldiers, Norris is finally really to deliver the deathblow when Jennifer O’Neill screams, “NO!” Chuck Norris backs off and turns his back to his deadly foe, which almost gets him killed but Chuck Norris is so amazing at martial arts that he karate kicks his way out of that and then kills the bad guy. The credits roll over their awkward embrace for several minutes.

Another scene that deserves recognition is when Jennifer O’Neill is recruiting Chuck Norris, and takes him to see a 15-year old girl who has run away from home and become a prostitute. No explanation as to why she keeps running away from home, only that her parents are wealthy and therefore provide a loving home, but to their horror their daughter is now a junkie. Chuck Norris hates junkies. Before being led into the young prostitute’s room, we see her being fondled by a middle-aged white man, who runs out as the lady cop busts through the door… and Chuck Norris lets the pedophile john go [!]. Our hero, ladies & gentlemen. Chuck Norris then glares unsympathetically at the young girl, until her Hispanic pimp struts in and starts barking orders. There’s nothing Chuck Norris hates more than a loudmouth Hispanic pimp, so THEN he moves into action. Got that?

A Force of One has Christmas tinsel, wreaths, etc, in half its scenes, yet it somehow never feels like a Christmas movie, even when a Salvation Army brass band is playing holiday music to the public. And yet it is a Christmas movie. This movie lets you have the debate with other viewers, which is also part of the comic charm of A Force of One. I’ll leave it to you to watch & decide for yourself. FYI, I say it is a Christmas movie.

A Force of One was a minor box-office hit, so a bigger budget was allowed for The Octagon (1980). This is Chuck Norris’ best movie because there is so much talent helping him out. Never again would a studio invest in Chuck Norris like The Octagon, which features three leading ladies with whom he has dinner, and two get killed. It’s ninjas this time, as his disgraced Japanese half-brother is the arch-villain, Seikura, who trains terrorists in the ninja style which is silent but deadly.

An echoplex effect box is used on Chuck Norris’ voice to great effect. Chuck Norris never has much to say, and has trouble when he does, so an echo effect adds weight & importance to his dull words. This will teach you the value of good production… production,,, production. The real star of The Octagon (as a comedy) is Art Hindle, Norris’ best friend [!] in the movie. Art Hindle’s passion & energy in The Octagon were never duplicated in any other performance by him. Art Hindle gives everything in his limited imagination & ability in The Octagon, and that’s all you can ask from an actor. I firmly believe Art Hindle’s tour du force performance is the key to a true understanding of The Octagon.

One of the most ridiculously funny premises of Art Hindle’s character, AJ, is that he’s a martial artist. Not once in this movie do we see him training, or fighting. We mostly see him talking, getting drunk, and striking out with the ladies. We see him get captured easily as he reaches the perimeter of the octagon terrorist training camp. When AJ gets slaughtered at the end, The Octagon approaches great comedy. Art Hindle has no fighting skills, yet he keeps mouthing off to Chuck Norris like he’s a martial arts Jedi. Great comedy, as Art Hindle steals every scene he’s in, all the way to the bloody end. AJ is the glue & guts that gets Chuck Norris to the Octagon, otherwise he’d still be sittin’ on his ass. It’s this kind of vicarious pleasure that make action & comedy fans want to watch again & again.

Lee Van Cleef is in The Octagon, and he is delightful as a FBI anti-terrorist named McCarn, also known as McWho. Interestingly, Lee Van Cleef would become a ninja master himself in the short-lived TV series The Master (1984), which later got Mistied. Lot’s of tough talk here with Lee & Chuck, pretending to understand global politics, etc. There’s a fat Jew who bankrolls Seikura’s ninja terrorist camp, a greasy boxing promoter hassling Chuck Norris to return to the ring, and finally a wealthy & beautiful heiress who is a fundraiser (& victim [!]) of this ninja terrorism due to her high political principals– or something like that. Chuck Norris movies are always vague with these details on economics & politics. The important thing is that Chuck Norris is ALWAYS ready to kick some terrorist butt, just point him in the right direction and remember– he works alone.

He says it a lot, “I work alone,” but I think it’s really the opposite– people don’t want to work with him. Just consider it. In Invasion USA (1985) Chuck Norris is now with Golan-Globus. No decent leading actresses wanted to work with Chuck Norris anymore, as that was death on-screen & for a career. And just as Joel & the Bots riffed in the opening credits for Time Walker/Being From Another Planet (1982), Melissa Prophet’s career went nowhere. Very prophetic indeed.

Several comedy notes need to be made for Invasion USA to be watchable. Near the beginning, when Chuck Norris is wrangling a gator with his Native American buddy [!!], he doesn’t knot the rope around the alligator’s snout, so it sheds the rope and snaps at John Eagle as it is going into the cage. Not helpful, Chuck, and his soon-to-be-dead buddy lets him know.

The opening scene of Invasion USA is Golan-Globus at its worst, as Richard Lynch playing a Russian terrorist leader Rostov, disguised under a US Coast Guard flag, machine guns a crew of apparently stranded Cuban refugees. After everyone on board is dead, a hatch is opened and hundreds of kilos of cocaine are revealed inside. The poor refugees were really drug smugglers! Except, if you really had hundreds of kilos of coke on a boat manned with 30+ people there would be guns, a mechanic to fix the engine, a working radio, etc. You certainly wouldn’t be drifting helplessly in the ocean. Disgraceful Golan-Globus anti-immigrant propaganda, so push the riff button right away on Invasion USA and make it a comedy.

Like A Force of One, Invasion USA is a Christmas movie. Maybe not as much, but it is. A little girl asks he daddy if she can place the star on top of the outside Christmas tree before Rostov blows up her home and everyone in it. There’s Christmas music in the neighborhood just before this villainy. This leads to an interesting production note on Invasion USA, as this demolition was done in an Atlanta neighborhood that had been annexed for an airport expansion, so Golan-Globus was allowed to blow up those homes for real, not some fake Hollywood explosion which you often see. It’s quite striking to watch.

Richard Lynch as Rostov, convincingly plays a Russian terrorist mastermind who is haunted by Chuck Norris and maniacally shoots his enemies in the genitalia. But even he has a few friends to help him. Chuck Norris works alone, and he makes that clear to the government agent with whom he meets in south Florida to accept the assignment of saving the United States. Chuck Norris closes the scene by walking away from the agent in mid-sentence and sticking him with his dinner bill. I think that’s supposed to be funny, but it actually reveals something else.

Apparently in Invasion USA, the entire US Navy & Coast Guard were napping when Russian terrorists landed on a Miami beach under cover of darkness, then loaded themselves into trucks and scattered across America to spread terror and destroy our way of life. A teenage couple necking on the moonlit beach are slaughtered by Russian reconnaissance, otherwise they may have notified US authorities and foiled the terrorist invasion. Often these foreign terrorists disguise themselves as police while massacring civilians, and this leads to people not trusting the police. Chuck Norris will battle these evil foreigners to restore the image of the police as benevolent & friendly civil servants.

In reality, by 1985 the Reagan/Bush administration had organized a federal response to the Cocaine Cowboy violence in Miami which had plagued the community for years. The DEA, FBI & Pentagon were now coordinated with local police in their efforts to secure the US border in Florida from well-organized Colombian drug cartels. Before that, any mass invading force trying to establish a Miami beachhead would have to take it from the Colombian & Cuban drug gangs. All that reality makes the action & motivations in Invasion USA comically unbelievable.

When waiting in a hotel room for the US government to take him into custody, as part of his master plan to flush out Rostov and end the reign-of-terror, Chuck Norris is mindlessly watching TV in bed when he takes his finished chewing gum out of his mouth and sticks it to the picture on the wall behind him while not taking his eyes off the important television programming he is watching. If I had to choose one scene that defines Chuck Norris as an actor & unintentional comedian, that could be it.

But my favorite scene in Invasion USA is when Chuck Norris is patrolling the Miami streets vigilante style in his souped-up truck. He’s looking out the window with barely concealed contempt at the human refuse he despises, when a working girl steps off her corner and yells to him, “Fuck you, asshole!” It’s the best line in the movie.

One final point on Chuck Norris is that in every movie I’ve discussed, and those I haven’t, he’s always Chuck Norris. His character name & profession are irrelevant. Can you name another actor like that? You kinda have to go back to Buster Keaton & Charlie Chaplin for that. In other important respects Chuck Norris evokes Joe Don Baker in Mitchell (1975). Chuck Norris never served in the Vietnam War, although he likes to make you believe that he did, and thus is credentialed to speak as a veteran soldier. He isn’t. As far as being an actor goes, Chuck Norris is in a category by himself when it comes to action-comedy as a genre– an unintentional-comic force of one.

…………..<><><><><><><>…………..

 

Squeezing out Uncle Sam & Al-Qaeda

Posted on by

There is a furious ongoing diplomacy war being waged internationally through the media. These Reuters headlines (all from today) tell much of the story. On the US deep state side of the propaganda war, the headlines read like this:

U.S aim is for troops pulling out of Syria to leave Iraq eventually: Pentagon chief [1]

US Secretary of Defense Mark Esper is in Afghanistan acting as a representative of the US deep state. As Trump’s lieutenant, he’s in a tight spot, as he clearly supports troops remaining in Syria & Iraq, but what he doesn’t realize or admit is that it’s already a lost cause.

Syria wants its sovereignty back, and Turkey wants the US-sponsored Al-Qaeda terrorists gone from its border. Russia is the new sheriff in town, and if you are a supporter of the US deep state, that really burns your ass.

Kurdish families stuck in crowded schools after fleeing north Syria conflict [2]

This is a human interest piece on innocent civilians & families of Al-Qaeda terrorists who are all impacted by this. They need our help! We must act!! This is a humanitarian crisis, and we can’t abandon our allies!!!

Syrian Kurdish [Al-Qaeda] forces tell U.S. they met truce obligations: U.S. official [3]

“The commander of YPG Kurdish forces in northeast Syria told the United States he had met all obligations set out in a U.S.-brokered truce, a senior U.S. official said on Tuesday, as Washington warned it would punish Turkey if it resumes hostilities… blah blah blah.” Erdogan obviously isn’t impressed…

Turkey replaces four more pro-Kurdish mayors as crackdown widens [4]

The Kurdish separatists are being persecuted, politically & militarily, for their ties to terrorism (PKK). Who will protect them?

For Syrian Kurds, a leader’s killing deepens sense of U.S. betrayal [5]

This entire CIA/Al-Qaeda alliance is murky-murky, all the way back to its inception with the mujahideen in Afghanistan in the 1980’s. One of the more-recent sordid chapters in this relationship occurred on October 3, 2019, when U.S. State Department representatives visited the Future Syria Party’s headquarters in the Syrian city of Raqqa to meet Hevrin Khalaf and party president Ibrahim al-Kaftan.

“Yes, there was encouragement from the Americans to set up a party,” Kaftan said. Apparently there was much discussion that the Kurdish YPG militia had become too powerful in the region, as Washington was moving towards mediation in Syria. Hevrin Khalaf was killed a few days later during the Turkish offensive into Syria. Murky, murky.

Calling Erdogan a ‘thief’, Syria’s Assad tours Idlib frontline near rebels [6]
This can be read as a western propaganda attempt to inflame Erdogan, and split him from Assad & Russia, but it’s too late.

Iraq says U.S. forces withdrawing from Syria have no approval to stay [7]
The problem for Washington are the 1,000 US troops that Iraq doesn’t want, as this exceeds their already maxed limit of 5,000. What’s become apparent is that treaties signed & agreed to by the US are worthless, as it’s the ever-changing conditions on the ground that determine their interests & insatiable demands.

This is creating a revolutionary upsurge globally, as US imperialism has been exposed as weak & corrupt to its core. There are over 60,000 US troops stationed across the Middle East, and only the Arab absolutist monarchies want them there.

There are US troops in: Saudi Arabia, Turkey (hard to believe, but still a NATO ally), Syria, Iraq, Kuwait, UAE, Qatar & Afghanistan. Of course Israel is a “special friend” of Washington, and both deep states have infiltrated, and work closely with, Al-Qaeda proxies. These “endless wars” ever end, they just get shifted around to keep people confused. This began in earnest with 9/11.

Smoke pours from the World Trade Center after it was hit by two hijacjked passenger planes September 11, 2001 in New York City in an alleged terrorist attack. (Photo by Robert Giroux/Getty Images)

The five-day truce in Turkey’s cross-border offensive to allow the withdrawal of Kurdish YPG fighters from the border area ends at 10 pm locally– 1900 GMT; 3:00 PM EDT– today. Or 2200 GMT, depending on whom you read. President Tayyip Erdogan has repeatedly stated that Turkey will press on with fighting if the YPG remains in that region.

As he flew to Russia for talks on Syria, Erdogan said hundreds of Kurdish fighters remained near to Syria’s northeast border despite the truce demanding their withdrawal. Erdogan has stated that 700-800 YPG terrorists have been evacuated from the “safe zone” but that 1,200-1,300 more remain as of Tuesday morning.

Right now Erdogan is talking with Putin & Assad on how to crush the remnants of Al-Qaeda in Syria, since the US military “cut & ran” from their allies in the northeast. Washington wants another “timeout” to gain time in hiding & redeploying what’s left of its Al-Qaeda proxies.

But this isn’t so easy, because these YPG “allies” now feel betrayed by the US, and are throwing rocks & potatoes at them as they leave. Erdogan is insisting on sticking to the negotiated agreement, and has already stated he’s turned a “new page” in US-Turkey relations.


US imperialism doesn’t need that oil in Syria, it just wants to keep it away from it’s designated enemies– and Russia & Syria are on top of that list. The US war machine need theaters & markets for its existence, but the greater loss here is the exposure of all this imperialist murkiness to a global audience.

Al-Qaeda has nowhere to go, and the US (which created them) doesn’t want to own up to its own responsibility in Syria. The CIA & US imperialism created this Frankenstein, and watching this mess disintegrate so quickly, one gets a sense that blowback is in the future. There are too many hard feelings & double-crosses here, which means there will be repercussions– sooner or later.

Russia Today has been pumping out articles too. Here’s their latest headlines, which again tell much of the story:

Russian & Syrian forces to deploy to northeastern Syria outside Turkey operation zone – Putin-Erdogan agreement [8]

Trump approves $4.5 million in aid to ‘White Helmets’ in Syria [9]

Quoting RT, “Washington pledged $5 million in aid to the group at a conference back in March. Last May, the Trump administration had announced it would stop funding the White Helmets, only to backtrack a month later and send the group $6.8 million… Trump authorized the latest package on Tuesday, calling their work “important and highly valued.”

In reality, the White Helmets are mercenary scum, as this terrorist organization is funded by MI6 & the CIA. You need to keep your head on a swivel to keep up with Trump’s zig-zags.

This $4,5 million can be seen as a rapprochement for Uncle Sam bailing on them in Syria. “Here, forgive us for abandoning you.” This money will forge a closer alliance between Al-Qaeda & Washington until the money runs out, then these terrorists will need & demand more– and get it. This is what the deep state is for. You don’t think these fanatical idiots could exist on their own, do you?

According to RT, “Currently the White Helmets operate solely in the parts of Idlib province controlled by Al-Qaeda militants. Photographs of armed militants with “White Helmets” insignia, participating in the Turkish-backed ‘Operation Peace Spring’ against the Kurds in northern Syria, have appeared on social networks over the past two weeks.”

There is nothing but hypocrisy here, as Erdogan is claiming to be “cleansing terrorists” in his Syrian offensive, but is actually employing the same mercenaries he’s asserted to the world that he’s fighting.

When it gets this murky-murky in real-world covert ops & terrorism, I put on The Octagon (1980), a ninja classic for relaxation. With a LOT of help from his supporting cast, director, and many others, Chuck Norris kicks ass while not being too concerned about the facts, which wear thin on him.

The martial arts are amazing, particularly Richard Norton as Kyo the killer (and also Longlegs the henchman). But the REAL star is Art Hindle as A.J.– the wanna-be sidekick who goes fanatical in his inimitable American kamikaze stupid style– straight into hari kari. There are three leading ladies in this flick, and two of them get killed. Delicious.

The Octagon is a confused mess, with a lot of dangerous & misleading cliches. For instance, the fat Jew fur dealer as the “underbelly of terrorism” according to US intelligence. But it is still an action classic, just as re-watchable as The Terminator (1984) or Robocop 2 (1990). If you agree, then check out my comments on the linked movie for more STUFF!

……………………<><><><><><>…………………..