Peter Sellers famously fends off James Bond two-timer Ursula Andress
One Seal Attacks Another at 2:04:33; Animal Cruelty
Dominant Seal Rewarded Later
Niven Worthless as Usual, the Rest Proves this flick a Supreme Waste of Talent
Directed by: Ken Hughes, John Huston, Joseph McGrath, Robert Parrish, Val Guest, and Richard Talmadge.
This movie (in the words of MST3K) sits on your head and slowly crushes it.
Shit soundtrack by Burt Bacharach
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Castillo de San Marcos, St Augustine, FL
Castillo de San Marcos is the oldest masonry fort (1695) in the continental United States; only Castillo San Felipe del Morro in San Juan, Puerto Rico is older.
Both fortresses stand as monuments from the age of conquistadors, which flowed from the Spanish re-conquest of the Iberian peninsula over Islamic forces.
After the Moors were defeated, Portugal and Spain commissioned young men to seek out & conquer the New World.
Conquistador Pedro Menendez-de Aviles: St. Augustine’s founder in 1565
Pedro Menéndez de Avilés had commanded the galleons of the great Armada de la Carrera (Treasure Fleet), on their voyages from the Caribbean and Mexico to Spain.
In 1565, the Spanish decided to destroy the French outpost of Fort Caroline, located in what is present-day Jacksonville.
The crown approached Menéndez to outfit an expedition to Florida, and settle the region for Spain.
The settlement of St. Augustine was founded by Pedro Menéndez in September of 1565, in the former Timucua Indian village of Seloy.
The location of the settlement was chosen for its defensibility and proximity to a fresh water artesian spring.
St. Augustine remains the oldest continuously inhabited European settlement in the continental United States.
The Timucua were American Indians who lived in north Florida and southeast Georgia.
They were the largest indigenous group in that area, probably numbering between 200,000 and 300,000.
Contact of indigenous North American tribes with European peoples began some time around 1502, as there exists a Portuguese map of the coast of Florida dating from this time.
Initial contacts were always violent and tragic; as the Portuguese were looking for slaves to work in their sugar plantations of the Caribbean and Brazil.
Earliest European map of Florida & Brazil (1502)
Old World microbes effectively depopulated huge areas of the New World, as Native Americans of this time had no resistance to communicable diseases beyond the common cold.
Measles, mumps, smallpox, typhoid, typhus, diphtheria, etc… carried off millions of Native American lives.
This began in the Caribbean in October of 1492, when Christopher Columbus under the auspices of the Catholic Monarchs of Spain; sailed to the Bahamas (San Salvador), and massacred the peaceful & friendly Lucayan Indians.
Christopher Columbus journal entry, 12/13 October 1492:
Many of the men I have seen have scars on their bodies, and when I made signs to them to find out how this happened, they indicated that people from other nearby islands come to San Salvador to capture them; they defend themselves the best they can. I believe that people from the mainland come here to take them as slaves. They ought to make good and skilled servants, for they repeat very quickly whatever we say to them. I think they can very easily be made Christians, for they seem to have no religion. If it pleases our Lord, I will take six of them to Your Highnesses when I depart, in order that they may learn our language…I could conquer the whole of them with 50 men, and govern them as I pleased.
Columbus then sailed to Cuba & Hispaniola, where he encountered Taino/Arawak Indians, who met a similar fate.
Spanish colonization of the New World relied on slaughtering & enslaving Native American men, while taking their women as concubines.
Thus the Timucua, Lucaya, Arawak/ Taino Indians (among many others) were absorbed into Spanish mestizo culture.
Today, these civilizations are considered extinct.
Conquistador Juan Ponce de León hoped for something to find…
Juan Ponce de León landed near St. Augustine in 1513.
…but he could see no place to unwind
Located on the shore of Matanzas Bay, Castillo de San Marcos was designed by the Spanish engineer Ignacio Daza.
Matanzas Bay, looking out from Castillo de San Marcos
Slaves were imported from Havana, Cuba to build it; construction began in 1672, and was completed in 1695.
Castillo de San Marcos is a masonry star fort, made of coquina; a porous and versatile limestone consisting of seashells which have been pulverized by the ocean and become cemented together.
Coquina: ubiquitous in St. Augustine, FL
Castillo de San Marcos has been improved, renovated, and renamed many times over its centuries of existence.
It has transferred sovereign flags seven times in its history, all peacefully; despite repeated attempts to take it by force.
The British Navy twice unsuccessfully laid siege to Spanish St. Augustine.
The first time was in 1702, a two-month duel that ended when the Spanish fleet arrived from Havana.
St. Augustine the town, was destroyed as collateral damage from the siege.
A second English siege occurred in 1740, but was abandoned after a month– due to low supplies & failing morale.
Both times, the approximately 1,500 St. Augustine residents and soldiers packed into the fort.
Castillo de San Marcos’ coquina walls are notable for their strength and durability; withstanding centuries of weather & enemy cannon fire.
Cannon loaded at Castillo de San Marcos
Cannon balls from attacking ships were simply absorbed into the thick coquina walls, much like a BB into a dense mass of natural styrofoam.
Holes were easily refilled with fresh coquina, making the fortress impregnable to the artillery of that era.
Never taken by force, it has been truly claimed that Castillo de San Marcos has balls of steel.
Castillo de San Marcos’ coquina blocks close-up
From the water at sunset
Under US sovereignty, Castillo de San Marcos was renamed Fort Marion.
It functioned mostly as a military prison for Native Americans– until it was decommissioned in 1900.
Castillo de San Marcos was designated a US national monument in 1924.
The Seminole Wars were the US-initiated conflicts in Florida, between the Seminole Indians and the US Army between 1816-1858.
They were the bloodiest US conflicts between the War of 1812 and the American Civil War (1861-65).
A US military victory in the Creek War (1813-1814), made Colonel Andrew Jackson a national hero.
In 1816, General Andrew Jackson attacked the Seminoles, and the Spanish at Pensacola.
Jackson was ultimately victorious again, as Spain ceded Florida to the United States in 1821.
Andrew Jackson later became the 7th President of the United States (1829–1837).
The Seminoles were ultimately defeated, removed, and imprisoned.
Creek braves were recruited and paid as mercenaries/scouts to assist the US military, in rooting out the resourceful & courageous Seminole Indians.
Seminole chief Osceola was taken prisoner during the Second Seminole War (1835-42), while attending a peace conference near St. Augustine, under a flag of truce.
He was imprisoned at Fort Marion, and soon after died of disease– as did many of his followers.
Chief Osceola Statue in Silver Springs, FL_ photo by NeilEvans
In January 1861, Florida joined the Confederacy, seceding from the United States.
Union troops had already withdrawn from the fort, leaving only one caretaker.
When Confederate troops marched on its walls, the solitary Union soldier refused to surrender– until he was given a receipt from the Confederacy.
A receipt was produced, and Fort Marion was taken by the Confederacy without a shot fired.
Most of the artillery was stripped and sent to other Confederate forts, leaving only five cannons in the water battery.
The Saint Augustine Blues were a militia unit enrolled into the Confederate Army at Ft. Marion in 1861.
Fort Marion, along with the rest of the city of St. Augustine was reoccupied by Union troops on March 11, 1862.
Confederate forces left St. Augustine the previous evening, in anticipation of the arrival of the Union fleet.
Saint Augustine Blues– Confederate militia flag (1861)
After the inevitable Union victory, Manifest Destiny was fulfilled.
Capitalist industrialization developed breech‐loading rifles and machine guns; dooming Lakota Sioux, Cheyenne, Arapaho, Kiowa, and Comanche civilizations.
Numerous Native Americans of these tribes (and many others) were held prisoner & died in Castillo de San Marcos; as a result of the Plains Indian Wars (1854–90).
Tolomato Cemetery is a private Catholic graveyard located on Cordova Street in St. Augustine, Florida.
Its wood structures were scrapped for firewood in the 19th century, leaving only the original coquina bell tower intact today.
Members of the Saint Augustine Blues are buried in a row [front left] at Tolomato Cemetery.
Tolomato Cemetery in St. Augustine
Another historically significant burial at Tolomato is that of Georges Biassou, a leader of the Saint-Domingue slave uprising in 1791.
Biassou became a Spanish general, supplied with guns & matériel to fight the French, until slavery was abolished in Hispaniola in 1793.
France maintained its control of Hispaniola until 1802, when a renewed rebellion began.
Napoléon Bonaparte ordered Hispaniola (along with the rest of New World) to be abandoned in 1803; the territory declared its independence from France, establishing the Republic of Haiti in 1804.
Biassou was ordered to St. Augustine in 1796, as Spain’s monarchy feared his leadership of the black rebels, more than the French military.
Renamed Jorge Biassou, he remained in Florida until his death in 1801.
He is buried in an unmarked grave.
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This is St. Augustine, FL in 2015:
St. Augustine after 450 years
Marquette University is a private Jesuit institution located in Milwaukee, Wisconsin; named after French Jesuit missionary Jacques Marquette (1637–1675).
It was established by the Society of Jesus, and was founded by the first Bishop of Milwaukee, John Martin Henni in 1881.
Established as an all-male institution, Marquette became the first co-ed Catholic university in the world in 1909.
Today, Milwaukee’s Marquette high school is the location of the original Marquette College.
Marquette College moved downtown in 1907, becoming Marquette University.
Marquette high school in Milwaukee is nicknamed the Hilltoppers.
From 1954-1994, Marquette University was nicknamed the Warriors.
Marquette is recognized as a basketball school.
The images of Al McGuire crying as he’s coaching his last game, a victory in the 1977 NCAA championship game, forever cemented that legacy.
It’s most famous hoops alums include Glenn “Doc” Rivers, William Gates and Dwyane Wade.
Side-note 1: This author went to Marquette from 1987-94, when Kevin O’Neill became MU basketball’s savior hero. O’Neill was a Lute Olson (Arizona) protege, who became MU’s head coach, rescuing it from its Bob Dukiet nadir (1986-89). He got little respect from the media and alumni, because he wasn’t Al McGuire, which is ridiculous; so he left for a better college job and ended up in the NBA, where he belonged. Kevin O”Neill is an excellent basketball coach, and a great recruiter who is also smart/funny with the media. He just needed a fair shot in the NBA, which he never got. He fulfils the promise he makes to William Gates in Hoop Dreams (1994). O’Neill, as of this writing, is back in college; head coach of the USC Trojans.
Marquette’s pre-1954 nicknames included the Hilltoppers, Blue & Gold, and Golden Avalanche for football– until the pigskin program was cancelled at the end of the 1960 season.
A huge problem for Marquette football was their stadium, which still partially exists and is used for intramural flag & club football.
Marquette Stadium (1924–1960) is a 20-block walk from campus; located at 36th & Clybourne– a drug-infested, gang-banging neighborhood.
It’s capacity was 24,000 at its peak; and thus never suitable for “big-time” college football.
In the late 1950’s, university trustees cut a deal with city & county officials allowing the Marquette Golden Avalanche to play in Milwaukee Stadium (later renamed County Stadium), the home of the MLB Milwaukee Braves & part-time home of the NFL’s Green Bay Packers.
Unfortunately, the Golden Avalanche could never approach filling Milwaukee Stadium, or even put a competitive team on the field, since its early heyday in the 1920’s & 30’s.
Their last winning season was in 1953; after that Marquette went 10-44-3, until the program was terminated in a shoddy manner, after the 1960 season due to annual $50,000+ deficits.
After being given every chance to succeed, MU announced the cancellation its football program on December 9, 1960.
Despite an initial ruckus by hooligan students, football died a quiet death at Marquette; continuing a trend for Catholic schools of that era.
In 1961, it was proposed by a group of students, for the Marquette Warriors men’s basketball team to establish a mascot.
The Marquette Tribune reported on Oct. 28, 1960, the Student Senate passed a motion to form a committee for a Warrior caricature.
In February of 1961, the name of Willie Wampum was chosen as the winner of the “Name the Warrior” contest.
Willie Wampum made his first appearance at a Marquette basketball game on February 24, 1961.
Willie Wampum, the Marquette Warriors mascot from 1961-71
Bill Schatz, a cheerleader for Marquette was the first to wear the Willie Wampum costume; made by his sister, Mary Ann Schatz Loucks.
She stated, “My vision came from the Milwaukee Braves mascot.”
Does this honor another culture, or is it just demented?
Willie Wampum was the Marquette University Warriors mascot until the Student Senate requested that the administration retire his character in 1971.
Willie Wampum in Full Costume
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Mark Denning is one of the most familiar faces in the modern history of Marquette University, yet few Marquette alumni have any idea who he is?
Denning is a Native American MU alum, and the original “First Warrior” at Marquette basketball games in the early 1980s.
Mark Denning: Marquette’s “First Warrior”
He later legally signed his likeness away, and Marquette used his image as the university logo for over a decade.
The Marquette Warriors logo from the early 1980’s – 1994, is the likeness of Mark Denning
Mark Denning, dressed as Marquette’s “First Warrior”
Official MU memorandum states that “the First Warrior was selected in the late 1970s to be a symbol of Marquette’s relationship with Indians and to visualize the university’s commitment.”
Reality was different, as the First Warrior’s refusal to clown the crowd with stereotypical antics, failed to rally Marquette basketball fans.
The “First Warrior” was abandoned after the 1986-87 season, when Native American students no longer participated.
In the fall semester of 1993, MU trustees announced that the Warriors nickname was to be discontinued, and Marquette University was accepting submissions for a new nickname.
Protests & pressure from Native American groups and their sympathizers had compelled the university to make a clean break with past abuses, including ignorant disrespect for Indian culture.
A list of two choices was presented to the student body for a “vote”: Golden Eagles vs. Lightning.
It wasn’t much of a choice, and most students abstained; Golden Eagles won by a two-to-one margin.
In May of 1994, the last Warriors class graduated from Marquette University.
Side-note 2: Marquette University School of Dentistry opened on September 26, 1894.
It is the only dental school in Wisconsin.
Marquette School of Dentistry currently enrolls 100 freshmen each year, 50 Wisconsin residents and 50 non-residents.
Today, these are the estimated annual costs for a full-time MU dental student.
As a graduate of Marquette University’s School of Dentistry in 1994, this author still maintains abandoning the Warriors nickname was a step ahead.
Attempts to revive the Warriors nickname have met with no more success, than those who attempt to bring NCAA football back to MU.
In 2005, the MU Board of Trustees unilaterally announced the changing of Marquette’s nickname to the Gold.
The Marquette Gold lasted only one week, but it revived the Warriors nickname lobby.
A huge campaign was waged, and another “vote” was put to the students; Golden Eagles vs Hilltoppers– any write-ins for Warriors would not be officially tabulated.
Golden Eagles won again in a landslide, as the university students & alumni preferred their own nickname, over that of Milwaukee’s Marquette high school.
Overall it was a colossal waste of time and resources, in a reactionary effort to turn back society’s clock.
End Note: We don’t need no stinking nicknames– We are Marquette.
Marquette Alumni Comments & Responses
MS: Well said !!!! I am still a Warrior !!!! No matter what Marquette University says.
BC: I just really dislike the nickname “Golden Eagles”. Its very generic, and not unique, as other schools have already claimed that nickname. I would love to have Warriors back, without the Native American Indian associations, but too much damage was done in the 60’s and 70’s. I can vividly remember watching and laughing hysterically as a little boy as the Marquette Indian mascot danced around to the Hamms beer song on TV, during a timeout. It ain’t so funny now……..Unfortunately, it is exactly this imagery, that is preventing us from losing the Indian association with the name “Warrior”. Truly a shame.
RS: The comments above are nearly 100% how I felt before I started writing this piece yesterday. But while writing I realized that Marquette is unique, in the way it cast off its beloved nickname and moved forward. It hurt (and still hurts), but it was necessary because the abuses were much greater. Today the institution & its alumni stand taller for it. Also notice how the adoption of the Willie Wampum mascot in early 1961, coincided with the cancellation of football at MU in late 1960–as that brand of chauvinism always reincarnates itself.
MP: Well written. I think they should have kept the Warrior name but dropped all mascots and images of American Indians. A la Golden State Warriors. I never liked the Golden Eagles name and I still only buy MU clothing that does not have Golden Eagles on it. I agree that Willie Wampum was not a good choice but the name Warrior could have been maintained without offending anyone – every society respects the concept of a warrior.
RS: I agree with this, but only under the condition that EVERYONE respects Indian heritage, which obviously isn’t the case; as Native Americans who live on reservations, live in squalor. It needs to be strictly understood that European forefathers massacred Indian forefathers, and that reparations still haven’t been made. Not even close. The answer to the title of this piece is history. Once true understanding becomes part of our society, only then can the name Warriors be restored to Marquette.
Next Year’s Cover Girl
This Year’s Girl Demands DirecTV
…or else you get This Year’s Bitch
SI Plus-Size 2015: Women over & under 30, how you keeping up?
You Can’t Afford Thi$
SI Centerfold 2015
Anorexic. Any ribs missing?
Girl Needs a New Agent
Top Model SI Layout 2015
Best SI Layout 2015: Athletic Women
How Many Things Not Real?
Ridiculous RS: vocals, guitar, bass; TomP: percussion & production
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“Basketball, of all sports, is easiest to manipulate.” — Garth Woolsey, sports columnist for the Toronto Star
The NBA arguably sports the best athletes in the world.
Basketball is a deceptively simple game; one that looks easy, but in actuality is very difficult to play well.
Ambidextrous skills are required, and its speed & quickness are hard for non-players to truly judge & appreciate.
When played well, professional basketball is a beautiful TEAM game.
So why does the NBA, the best basketball league in the world, continue to have declining television viewership & fan attendance? It’s because the NBA is perceived by many basketball purists as being selfish, dirty, and a fixed league. Evidence for this thesis is best illustrated with video proof, provided below.
Former NBA referee Tim Donaghy became infamous in 2007, before reports of a FBI investigation into his betting on games he officiated during his final two seasons.
Donaghy was found guilty, and spent 11 months in prison for his actions.
He cooperated with the FBI, in exchange for a reduced sentence. In his testimony he described the nature of NBA officiating under commissioner David Stern, which is illustrated in this 60 Minutes interview and his book, Personal Foul: A First Person Account of the Scandal that Rocked the NBA.
Any whistleblower must be judged for their integrity, to be determined credible. As the scandal broke, Stern was asked by the media about Tim Donaghy’s rating as an official, his response was, “As a matter of on-court performance, he’s in the top tier of accuracy.” No evidence has ever been produced implicating Tim Donaghy for fixing any games he officiated, either for himself or the NBA.
.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-FLHKsbWkU
The idea that a LEAGUE would fix its games, including its championship series, is unthinkable to many–yet it makes sense when sports are looked upon as a business, which is precisely what they are.
Professional sports are defined by the courts as entertainment, and the leagues including the NFL, MLB, NHL & NBA are legally allowed to fix their games, if they so choose.
Fixing games, in order to maximize fan interest & television ratings is simply smart business.
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The most popular and marketable player in NBA history was undoubtedly Michael Jordan. After Larry Bird & Magic Johnson retired in the early 1990’s, Jordan became the centerpiece in David Stern’s strategy of marketing its biggest names. Preferential treatment from the refs had become the norm for star players, and Air Jordan became unguardable, in every sense of the term. The Chicago Bulls would win 6 championships from 1991-98, with very little resistance, as none of those NBA Finals went more than six games, in a best-of-seven format.
By the time of Michael Jordan’s second retirement, the NBA fell into a ratings crisis, from which they still haven’t recovered; the 2014 regular season & post-season ratings are half of what they were in 1998, Jordan’s final season with the Chicago Bulls.
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The NBA from February 1, 1984 – January 31, 2014, was under the control of commissioner David Stern, a high-powered lawyer known for his dictatorial style. He inherited a league on the rise with Bird & Magic providing a natural rivalry in Boston & LA, and an influx of talent in the mid 1980’s that would become the heart of the 1992 Olympic Dream Team; likely the best basketball team ever assembled, even though it excluded all-time NBA greats Hakeem Olajuwan and Isiah Thomas.
As these legends faded & retired in the 1990’s, what largely replaced them wasn’t at that level of greatness & maturity. The next generation of NBA stars were often players who left college early, including: Shaquille O’Neal, Penny Hardaway, Vince Carter, and Jason Kidd; or in the cases of Kevin Garnett, Kobe Bryant, and later LeBron James– jumped straight from high school to the NBA. These young players whom David Stern chose to elevate to superstar status, were often seen more for their selfish behaviour–on & off the court, than for their basketball skills.
Criticism of star players & the officiating in particular was always muted by Stern, who labelled it “corrosive.” The Director of Officiating and league officials office, which represents the NBA owners, were staffed with yes-men who would comply with Stern’s diktats. Ed T. Rush, Ronnie Nunn, Stu Jackson, and Rod Thorn were the mediocrities deputized to manipulate officiating and gag any criticism, with a system of financially punitive fines and suspensions-without-pay.
Players, coaches, team executives & owners were punitively fined for publicly questioning officiating. Referees are still not permitted to speak to the media unless the NBA approves it in advance. All this has led to a double standard in officiating, where star players & top-money teams benefit, in order generate fan ‘excitement’ & maximize revenue. This process, which began in the 1980’s, qualitatively changed in the 2000’s, where league championships & playoff series are now rigged to ensure marquee match-ups & prolonged series, in order to generate more revenue.
Two of the most infamous examples (there are many more) of the NBA manipulating championship outcomes are:
2002 Western Conference Finals: Lakers/Kings
This blatant officiating bias was clear to anyone watching at the time. Over a decade later, it is still pointed to by basketball fans as the most obvious fix in NBA history. Shaq & Kobe, along with head coach Phil Jackson and half of Hollywood in the crowd, were certainly the favorites of David Stern. The Sacramento Kings were clearly the best team in the 2001-02 NBA, and this entire series was a tragic farce. Anyone who claims this horrible officiating was an accident is either lying or hopelessly naive.
2006 NBA Finals: Heat/Mavericks
After Shaq was traded by the Lakers, he teamed with D-Wade in Miami to become the newest NBA dynamic duo and David Stern marketing darling.
Watch this critical final sequence at the end of pivotal Game 5 (series tied at 2-2, tie score), as Dwyane Wade commits a back-court violation on the in-bounds pass (not called), then drives and gets the phantom foul call to win the game at the free throw line.
This was a re-occurring scenario all series, and is one of the examples discussed in Donaghy’s book.
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The prize of the inaugural 1985 NBA Draft Lottery was Patrick Ewing (C, Georgetown), and it was well understood that NBA commissioner David Stern wanted him in the biggest media market.
Stern is also a lifelong Knicks fan.
The NY Daily News reported the accounting firm of Ernst & Whinney, hired by the NBA to seal the envelopes, also audited the accounts of Gulf + Western.
Gulf + Western (renamed Paramount in 1989) owned the NY Knicks in 1985.
Watch this video and note the fourth envelope as it is tossed into the side of the drum, folding a corner.
It is this bent envelope which David Stern reaches for, uncreases with his left hand, and then announces as being the #1 pick.
Of course all this video evidence is circumstantial, as hard proof of manipulation as policy is impossible without an admission from higher-ups. Stern would say he’s not that good a magician; his opponents would point out that he is.
It is simply the consistency of this circumstantial evidence that leads so many to the conclusion, the NBA is fixed. The whistles & lottery winners favor large-market franchises & star players so overwhelmingly, that the chances of this being a coincidence are statistically reduced to nil. Decide for yourself.
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Physical play is another feature of the NBA– No Bitches Allowed. Its de-evolution into downright dirty play, is a reflection of ruling-class values. The plutocracy that dominates our global political economy is the core ideology for all professional sports, and therefore rigged leagues with unequal rules and condoned violence are logical outcomes.
Some of the NBA’s biggest stars are allowed to be its dirtiest players, for instance watch what happens to those who try to defend Kobe Bryant:
Watch here as Dwyane Wade kicks his defender in the groin, cross-checks opponents going to the basket, and generally take offense to any player who attempts to guard him closely. All this earned him a one-game suspension, in total.
Bruce Bowen was probably the dirtiest player of this era, which is quite a statement. His speciality was walking under the jump shooter to have them land on his foot and roll their ankle, as shown time after time in this video:
How does the NBA not suspend for karate-kicking a jump-shooter in the face?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edb6bz_C9ms
Bruce Bowen had his 500 consecutive games-played streak snapped in 2008, when he was suspended one game (the only suspension of his career) for kicking Chris Paul while down on the floor, shown here:
Unfortunately this is just a sample of what he was allowed to get away with, as his ‘lockdown defense’ helped the San Antonio Spurs win 3 NBA titles during his career.
In Personal Fouls, Tim Donaghy discusses the makeup of a typical NBA crowd, “It seems that night after night, arenas throughout the league are loaded with wisecracking, inebriated hecklers who are just itching for a fight.” Donaghy narrates what it was like to officiate one of the ugliest scenes in American sports history, the ‘Malice in the Palace,’ a full-scale brawl between the Indiana Pacers and Detroit Pistons, which spilled into the stands and then back onto the court, on November 19, 2004:
A progenitor of this sort of play was Bill Laimbeer, as Larry Bird discusses in this clip.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLMYNxW6Mqs
This cheap shot on Scottie Pippen is a fair example of the Detroit Pistons ‘Bad Boy’ style in the late 1980’s/early 1990’s, which really has no place in basketball:
Today the Pistons of this era are glorified, and what we now have in the NBA is less like real basketball, and more like UFC & WWE. The NBA has become largely unwatchable to many purist fans who value integrity and fair play. Any comparisons of players in this era to greats of the past becomes difficult, if not impossible, due to the distortions of the rules. When star players of today are allowed to travel and foul at both ends without being whistled, how does a fan compare them to earlier-era players?
The individual stats & championship ring totals of modern NBA superstars have too often been league-aided; achieved through rigged refereeing. Acknowledge the puppet-master, not the puppets. Basketball fans rightly feel the NBA has no legitimacy anymore, and the only solution at this point is to stop watching. Please join us.
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My All-Time NBA Team
12 Players– listed in order
PG: Magic Johnson, Oscar Robertson
SG: Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant
SF: Larry Bird, LeBron James
PF: Karl Malone, Kevin Garnett, Tim Duncan (4/5)
C: Wilt Chamberlain, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Hakeem Olajuwon
Inactive List (3 players maximum, all out with phantom injuries)
PG: Isiah Thomas
SF: Charles Barkley
PF: Dirk Nowitzki
A great coaching staff & front office is needed to handle these egos:
Red Auerbach
Jerry West
Phil Jackson
Tex Winter
Doc Rivers
Favorite Player All-Time: PG Darrell Armstrong, #10 Orlando Magic– Heart & Hustle
Old Friends RS: gtr, vocals, TomP: percussion & production, Craig Roy: bass, Jessica Lynn Martens: violin
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Action movies, like sports, have propaganda value.
The image of the alpha-male conquering evil through strength & cunning is a powerful one, and a basic instinct.
This instinct is tied into winning the female prize, and thus sexual ecstasy.
The Hollywood action genre traditionally lacked athleticism in it’s tough-guy stars, including James Cagney, Humphrey Bogart, Marlon Brando, etc.
That’s because they were actors, not athletes.
The original action film star (and director) was Buster Keaton in films like: Sherlock, Jr. (1924), The Navigator (1924), Battling Butler (1926), The General (1926), and Steamboat Bill Jr. (1928); all from the silent era.
Keaton choreographed and performed all his own stunts in these films.
His movies aren’t usually labelled “action,” even though there is plenty– by any standard.
Early Hollywood action often meant westerns, which quickly became a uniquely American film genre.
Westerns began as racist cowboys vs. Indians pictures, often featuring it’s biggest star–John Wayne.
The Duke’s career was carefully built by major studio executives, and Wayne was catapulted to the top, as the star of John Ford’s Stagecoach (1939).
John Wayne starred in 142 pictures– most of them westerns & war movies; among his most celebrated are The Quiet Man (1952), The Searchers (1956), Rio Bravo (1959), and The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (1962).
Wayne was a top box-office draw for three decades.
Notably, he was a conservative Republican, supporting any anti-socialist sentiment.
The Duke said, “Pick it up.”
The reduction of characters to good guy/bad guy caricatures, simply as a vehicle to motivate fighting, is a dangerous tendency.
As action films turned into blockbusters, the quality of popular cinema degraded.
Today, the near-universal promotion of the police/military/special forces/secret service/etc…in action movies/television as the “good guys”; along with the de-humanization of “bad guys,” dovetails with existing ruling-class values.
Now, unbelievable action sequences enhanced with CGI, further distort the action; leading to unreal plot lines and gaps in continuity.
The long-running success of the James Bond series in the 1960s, with the suave & resourceful Sean Connery always ready with a quip, whetted audience demand for vicarious heroes.
Bond films combined elaborate chase/fight scenes, gadget weaponry, glamourous locations, and of course–beautiful women; to create an amazingly pleasurable viewing experience, where actual story content no longer mattered.
Bond films dominated the action genre at the box office for a decade, as Connery starred in six of the early films: Dr. No (1962), From Russia with Love (1963), Goldfinger (1964), Thunderball (1965), You Only Live Twice (1967), and Diamonds Are Forever (1971); most of which remain among the most watchable of the twenty-five (and counting) productions.
Today the biggest spy-thriller series also include: Matt Damon in the Bourne Identity (2002-07); and Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible (1996-2011).
As over-the-top Bond and John Wayne pictures began to run thin, urban crime action began to move the cinema turnstiles.
Clint Eastwood had become America’s biggest western action star, for his cold-blooded & minimalist performances in: A Fistful of Dollars (1964), The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (1966), and For a Few Dollars More (1967)– all ‘spaghetti westerns’, brilliantly directed by Sergio Leone.
In Dirty Harry (1971), Eastwood traded in his Colt 45 & horse, for a .44 Magnum & a gas-guzzler; as “Dirty” Harry Callahan, the San Francisco tough-guy cop.
Hollywood had its urban, steel-jawed action star of the 1970’s.
Restrictions on language, adult content, and violence had been lifted; and the rise of cable television now provided an untapped home-viewing market for R-rated films.
HBO launched on November 8, 1972, and its programming was filled with violent action, comedy & horror fare.
Aside: For some unexplained reason, Akira Kurosawa film’s including the Seven Samurai (1954), Hidden Fortress (1958), Yojimbo (1961), etc… are usually not considered action films.
The best explanation for this reasoning is that Akira Kurosawa’s films (like Buster Keaton’s) are too artistic to be labelled “action.”
True action cinema begins with Chinese kung fu movies in the early 1970’s.
If this genre is to be discussed seriously, then its obvious limitations must be acknowledged, including; bad acting & poorly choreographed (and filmed) fight scenes, which limit much of these films’ value.
Also, clumsy editing and the insistence on the use of dubbing instead of subtitles, often kills any artistic intent.
Plot lines tend to be repetitive; or they suffer from being overly complex, silly, and/or vague.
Bruce Lee was the talent that rose to the top, and exploded kung fu onto western cinema screens & popular consciousness.
His unparalleled & inimitable fighting style, forever changed action film; by setting a higher standard with his martial arts skills & expert choreography.
Lee’s Jeet Kune Do (Way of the Intercepting Fist), was a revolutionary new martial arts style; a formless form, a style with no style that befuddled & astounded.
He rocketed to stardom in China with The Big Boss (1971), and Fist of Fury (1972), AKA The Chinese Connection.
Both films feature Bruce Lee’s jaw-dropping speed, power and control; as he dispatched attackers with ease and surety.
Jeet Kune Do by Bruce Lee
Return of the Dragon (1972) was also a Hong Kong production, written, starring & directed by Bruce Lee.
Made for HK$130,000, it grossed US$85 million at the box office.
It’s final fight scene of Bruce Lee vs. Chuck Norris, spring-boarded a 1970’s US martial-arts craze.
Enter the Dragon (1973) was the first Hollywood production of a Chinese martial arts film.
It starred Bruce Lee, who also choreographed the fight sequences.
His “co-star” at MGM’s insistence is John Saxon, whose hairpiece flips up every time he front kicks– requiring jump-cut editing.
Here is Bruce Lee’s disgust on film, in not being allowed a free-sparring sequence with Bolo Yeung (credited as Yang Tse), which surely would have improved the quality of the movie.
John Saxon: “I can take Bolo Yeung.”
Bruce Lee: “Only in Hollywood.”
Bruce Lee died on July 20, 1973– at age 32.
A coroner’s examination revealed the cause of his death to be a cerebral edema, caused by an allergic reaction to Equagesic.
Bruce Lee had complained of a headache earlier in the day, and a colleague actress gave him the analgesic.
Lee then took a nap from which he never awoke.
Equagesic contains meprobamate; a powerful tranquilizer which has since been removed from the market, due to its toxic side-effects.
Bruce Lee kills Jackie Chan: Enter the Dragon (1973)
Jackie Chan is an uncredited stunt man in Enter the Dragon [pictured above].
Chan was always a better candidate to be the breakthrough US action star, as his affable and good-humored nature make him endearing to audiences; Bruce Lee was perceived as more serious & stand-offish.
Drunken Master (1978) was Chan’s initial Hong Kong breakout, featuring fast-action fighting & a quick sense-of-humor.
By 1994’s Legend of Drunken Master (a Golden Harvest/Miramax collaboration), Jackie Chan was a US movie star.
He later teamed up with Chris Tucker in Rush Hour 1-3 (1998, 2001, 2007), and Owen Wilson in Shanghai Noon (2000), to cement his status as possibly the greatest global action film star; having conquered both Hong Kong & Hollywood.
Only Arnold Schwarzenegger can dispute his title as the King of Action Film.
The 36th Chamber of Shaolin (1978), is a Shaw Brothers kung fu film directed by Liu Chia-liang and starring Gordon Liu as San Te, a legendary Shaolin martial arts disciple.
This film is always listed among kung fu favorites, for its realistic depiction of traditional martial arts training and breathtaking fighting sequences.
In the 1980’s, John Woo led Hong Kong action filmmakers, with his stylized photography and gangsta themes.
A Better Tomorrow (1986), Hard Boiled (1988), and The Killer (1989) topped Hong Kong box offices.
Woo then moved to American action films; making six Hollywood movies starting with Hard Target (1993) and finishing with Paycheck (2003), before returning to Asian cinema.
Dolemite is my name, and…
African Americans had traditionally been under-represented in Hollywood films.
Sweet Sweetback’s Baadasssss Song (1971) written, directed by and starring Melvin Van Peebles is often credited as being the first ‘blaxploitation’ film.
Shot in less than 3 weeks, this low-budget action flick features a black man (Peebles) “sticking it to the white man’s system”; to the funk of Earth, Wind & Fire.
Sweet Sweetback’s Baadasssss Song is near-pornographic at certain points, and Van Peebles reportedly contracted gonorrhea while filming it.
After filing a workers’ compensation claim for a venereal disease, Peebles notoriously used the insurance money to further fund the film.
Melvin’s son Mario, (who would later direct & star in New Jack City [1991]) has a bit part in the opening flashback as the young orphan who is taken into a LA brothel.
As a towel boy, he loses his virginity to one of the prostitutes; earning him the nickname “Sweetback.”
Shaft (1971) directed by Gordon Parks and released by MGM, is the story of a private detective, John Shaft (Richard Roundtree); who travels through Harlem and mob neighborhoods in order to find the missing daughter of a mobster.
Isaac Hayes’ iconic soundtrack gave the story the groove it needed, and helped put blaxploitation on the map.
SuperFly (1972) directed by Gordon Parks, Jr. came a year later.
It is infamous for being one of the few films to ever be out-grossed by its soundtrack, written and produced by Curtis Mayfield.
Dolemite (1975) is a blaxploitation film written by & starring, comedian Rudy Ray Moore.
Dolemite is a pimp who was set up by the cops & rival Willie Greene (D’Urville Martin, who also directs); sentencing him to 20 years in prison.
Dolemite takes a deal with the FBI to get out, and his army of female prostitutes/karate-warriors help our hero kill Greene & bust the dirty cops.
Moore is endlessly rhyming, toasting & boasting his bad-ass self– to hilarious effect.
Dolemite is easily one of the best films of this limited genre.
Director Quentin Tarantino has paid endless homage to the blaxploitation genre in Pulp Fiction (1994) & Jackie Brown (1997).
In Kill Bill Vol. 1 & 2 (2003 & 2004), Tarantino edits & directs waif model/actress Uma Thurman using CGI/kung fu; as Hollywood began digitally transforming anorexic women into action heroes.
By the 1980’s, the major studios finally cashed in on black action, with 48 Hrs (1982) and Beverly Hills Cop (1984); both starring SNL comedian/actor Eddie Murphy.
By the early 1990’s, Denzel Washington: For Queen and Country (1988), The Mighty Quinn (1989); and Wesley Snipes: Major League (1989), King of New York (1990) New Jack City (1991), were also box-office action heroes.
I’m Gonna Git You Sucka (1988), directed by Keenan Ivory Wayans, spoofed 1970’s blaxploitation.
Keenan Ivory & younger brother Damon Wayans launched In Living Color (1990-94), a half-hour television comedy sketch show; featuring previously unknown actors/comedians Jim Carrey, Jamie Foxx, Tommy Davidson, David Alan Grier, and many others.
Damon Wayans soon became a box-office action star when he teamed with Bruce Willis in The Last Boy Scout (1991).
Blankman (1994) & Major Payne (1995) are action-comedy parodies of superheroes & the military.
More adult-themed, are the black-comedy messages in The Great White Hype (1996) [on boxing], and the vicarious nature of sports fans in Celtic Pride (1996).
Each of these films is an interesting look at American popular culture, as Damon Wayans presents himself as a rarity: a thoughtful actor, who can do action.
Today’s top black action hero is Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, who played college football; winning a NCAA championship as part of the 1991 Miami Hurricanes.
After football, Johnson turned to wrestling and became one of the top WWF box-office draws of all time.
“The Rock” parlayed that success into his first leading film role in The Scorpion King (2002), for which he was paid $5.5 million– an unprecedented sum for a debut actor.
Since then, the “Rock” has become a blockbuster action star; in one unmemorable movie after another.
Harrison Ford as Han Solo: Star Wars (1977)
Star Wars (1977), written & directed by George Lucas, instantly became the biggest pop-culture phenomenon since the Beatles.
Much of the success of this film was due to its revolutionary visual & audio special-effects.
John Williams’ score was also a major component in the film’s success.
Williams is widely considered the greatest film-score composer ever, as his big-movie themes go all the way back to the first blockbuster film: Jaws (1975).
The original Star Wars trilogy has the distinction of overcoming one of the weakest lead’s in film history; as Mark Hamill (Luke Skywalker) simply can’t act.
The real star was Harrison Ford as Han Solo.
Ford followed The Empire Strikes Back (1980) by starring in Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)– a Steven Spielberg/Lucasfilm collaboration which set all kinds of box-office records at the time, and launched the Indiana Jones series.
Harrison Ford later starred in Blade Runner (1982), directed by sci-fi specialist Ridley Scott; and later as CIA-analyst Jack Ryan in Patriot Games (1992) & Clear and Present Danger (1994), both based on best-selling Tom Clancy spy novels.
The blockbuster nature of Jaws & Star Wars‘, forever changed Hollywood film-making.
From that point on, big-budget action films became the priority, as they consistently ranked among the top money grossers.
Tim Burton’s Batman (1989) was one of the first Hollywood films to make extensive use of computer graphic interface (CGI) special-effects.
The second Star Wars trilogy (1999-2005) upped the CGI ante to the point of no return; in which virtually an entire film series was shot into a chroma key bluescreen.
Burton’s Batman was a revival for the comic-book action film.
Superman (1978) starring Christopher Reeve was the original superhero blockbuster, and it was followed up by several sequels that earned well enough.
However, Superman IV (1987), produced by Golan-Globus’s Cannon Films, was a complete bomb.
Christopher Reeve was paralyzed from the neck down in 1995, as the result of a fall while horse riding; thus ending the original Superman film series.
The tragedies of Bruce Lee & Christopher Reeve is a healthy reminder, that none of us are invincible.
With the modern saturation of CGI in film, comic-book heroes are now thrust into multiplex theaters across the country every summer; each in search of greater profits.
Smokey & the Bandit (1977)
Smokey & the Bandit (1977) starring Sally Field & Burt Reynolds was the Good-ol’-Boy answer for action fun.
Reynolds, a halfback at FSU, starred in a series of box-office redneck action successes such as: Deliverance (1972), The Longest Yard (1974) and Hooper (1978).
Their success along with other cult films including White Lightning (1973), spawned a string of country-TV series including: BJ & the Bear (1979-81), The Misadventures of Sheriff Lobo (sit-com 1979-81), and ratings-winner The Dukes of Hazzard (1979-85).
In 1979, Cannon Films was acquired by Israeli cousins Menahem Golan & Yoram Globus, for $500,000.
These Yiddish business masterminds would carve out their niche, by producing low-budget action movies in the 1980’s.
Known for their chauvinist exploitation films including the Delta Force (1986-91) & Missing in Action (1984-88) series, each featuring Chuck Norris; along with Cobra (1986) & Over the Top (1987) starring Sly Stallone—even their attempts at art failed; due to the fact there wasn’t a shred of artistic integrity in either Menahem Golan or Yoram Globus.
Their films would often go directly to video and/or international markets which were starving for US “action culture.”
A regular on the Golan-Globus roster was Chuck Norris; possibly the most expressionless “actor” to ever star in multiple features.
Norris shows very little acting ability or style– in any sense, in any of his movies.
In sum, these pictures have more unintended comic value and insight into reactionary ‘thought,’ than any serious action or drama.
By the mid-1980’s, there were whispers of Cannon Films becoming the ‘7th major‘ film studio; threatening to join Fox, Columbia (Sony), Paramount/Viacom, Time-Warner, Universal (Comcast) & Disney.
Fortunately, a studio needs to make good films to become a major; and this never occurred with any Golan-Globus production, as their business model was predicated on buying bottom-barrel scripts and strictly maintaining low budgets.
Cannon Films went bankrupt in 1993.
Hollywood music supervisor Richard Kraft likened the Cannon product pipeline to bowel movements dumped onto the international market with scant concern for quality or plot coherence: You flush it; you make another one.
Bawhoosh!! Chuck Norris MIA, big-time
Action cinema is synonymous with televised sports.
The evolution of both is determined by economic & ideological forces [Marx].
The rise of the NFL as America’s game, coincided with action film becoming a dominant genre.
Former NFL running back Jim Brown became the first black action star, appearing in The Dirty Dozen (1967), the blaxploitation Three the Hard Way (1974), and I’m Gonna Git You Sucka (1988); just to name just a few.
The relationship between weightlifting, bodybuilding, and professional football is an open one; and since the 1960’s many of its steroid secrets have been passed between camps.
In Pumping Iron (1977), its results finally make it to the silver screen.
Pumping Iron is an important film for all cinema-goers to see & understand, because out of this documentary came the biggest action star of them all– Arnold Schwarzenegger.
The film centers around the 1975 Mr. Olympia bodybuilding event, held in South Africa [during the Apartheid regime– conveniently not discussed].
Also not discussed in the film are performance enhancing drugs (PEDs), although today’s audience would have to be blind to not see the steroids drenched into the film’s celluloid.
Every competitive lifter must be willing to take the pain [and presumptively use PEDs], otherwise he is “not serious,” says Arnold on becoming a champion.
Schwarzenegger didn’t have trouble convincing his audience he was serious, as a cyborg sent from the future in James Cameron’s The Terminator (1984).
Arnold Schwarzenegger’s title role, remains one of the most terrifying movie-villain performances ever; and it shot him to stardom.
What followed were good-guy roles that consistently earned money for the studios; Commando (1985), Predator (1987), The Running Man (1987), Red Heat (1988), Twins (1988), Total Recall (1990), Kindergarten Cop (1990), and The Last Action Hero (1993).
In the wake of Arnold’s biceps in the 1980’s, every action-hero contender was now required to have a buffed bod.
Sylvester Stallone from Rocky (1976), miraculously morphed into Rambo: First Blood II (1985).
Stallone reprised his role as Vietnam veteran John Rambo, in this racist & homicidal death trip.
It grossed over $300 million, and Sly briefly challenged his buddy Arnold, for the King of Action Film crown.
It wasn’t to be for Stallone, as he would unwisely partner with Golan-Globus for some of the most wretched action bombs of the decade [mentioned above].
Other action stars created in the the 1980’s include:
Mel Gibson in Mad Max (1979), and Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior (1981); both Australian post-apocalyptic action films directed by George Miller.
Lethal Weapon 1-4 (1987-98), in which Gibson teamed with Danny Glover, solidified him as an action icon.
Bruce Willis, who first became a television star as private investigator David Addison on Moonlighting opposite Cybil Sheppard (1985–89).
Willis became a global action star in Die Hard (1988), as John McClane, an off-duty cop attempting to free hostages held in a skyscraper.
McClane kills the terrorists, coolly delivers the one-liners to the bad guys, handles the bureaucracy, and simultaneously saves Christmas for the rest of the cast.
Steven Seagal became an instant action star, with his smooth Aikido style in Above the Law (1988).
Under Siege (1992), is Die Hard on a battleship.
Jean-Claude Van Damme (the “Muscles from Brussels”) struck action gold with Bloodsport (1988), a Cannon Films production of the ‘true story‘ of Frank Dux.
Woody Harrelson starred on the successful sit-com Cheers, as junior bartender Woody Boyd, from 1985–1993.
He became an action film star when he teamed with Wesley Snipes in White Men Can’t Jump (1992).
Like Damon Wayans, Harrelson is an serious actor, with athleticism.
Natural Born Killers (1994) and Thin Red Line (1999) are a few of his searing action performances.
Zombieland (2009), directed by Ruben Fleischer, is one of the best zombie/horror-genre films ever.
To their credit, Woody Harrelson & Daniel Sunjata (Rescue Me [2004-11] , 9/11: Loose Change [2009]) both support the 9/11 Truth movement, and a reopening of the investigation into the September 11 attacks.
In a 1993 Nike commercial, Charles Barkley proclaimed: “I am not a role model… Parents are role models… Just because I dunk a basketball, doesn’t mean I should raise your kids.”
People didn’t want to believe Charles Barkley, and most of them pretended to be like Mike [Jordan].
It’s the same with action movies; people pretend their favorite action heroes are real, and their own lives are insignificant by comparison.
In reality, the opposite is true– because movies (like sports) are entertainment, not real life.
Schooldaze RS: guitar, harmonica & vocals; TomP: production
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The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao (1964 MGM) is based on the Circus of Dr. Lao, a 1935 fantasy novel by Charles G. Finney.
Dr. Lao (Tony Randall) is a Chinese philosophical acrobat, who will be 7322 years old this October–his speciality is wisdom.
He can walk a tightrope if necessary, and does so repeatedly.
This film is a tour-du-force performance by Randall, playing Dr. Lao as well as the various circus performers.
The 1964 best actor Oscar winner was Rex Harrison as Professor Henry Higgins in My Fair Lady. Randall wasn’t even nominated.
Come to Circus, maybe big supplies
The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao won one Oscar for Makeup; it was an Honorary Award – the first film to receive this award. The makeup artist was William Tuttle.
The mysterious Dr. Lao travels on a jackass carrying only himself & a fish bowl with a baby catfish.
Dr. Lao visits the town newspaper to advertise his 2-day circus to be held at the edge of town.
The conflict of the story starts with local tycoon Clinton Stark (Arthur O’Connell) pitching the townspeople the idea of their land being worthless.
The cynically pragmatic Stark has inside information, and is ready to buy every home & building in Abalone, Arizona.
Ed Cunningham (John Ericson), editor-in-chief of the Abalone Daily Star, counters Stark’s capitalist scheming by pointing out that, “Any place people work & live together is something–something very important.”
Town librarian Angela Benedict (Barbara Eden) questions Stark on his specific reasons for buying “worthless” property.
After mumbling a reply, her follow-up enquiry to Stark is shouted down by the befuddled, hateful, and intoxicated masses. A final vote is set for a few days.
The entire town comes out to Dr. Lao’s Circus, which is acts a mirror for its attendees. Those seeking a fortune teller, receive the absolute truth from the sight-blind Apollonius of Tyana.
Five cents please
The Greek gorgon Medusa is viewed in her mirrored reflection, as a direct gaze causes any mortal to turn to stone. Merlin, the greatest magician the world has ever known, is forgetful in his old age. He is mostly unappreciated & unnoticed, even when he restores life to a woman who is transformed into a statue through her obstinate defiance in looking at the Medusa.
Jim Danforth’s model animation of the Loch Ness Monster, the Giant Serpent, and Medusa’s snake hair were also nominated for an Academy Award. These effects are 1960’s Godzilla/Gamera Japanimation equivalent.
The special effects (though dated) work well enough, and their use is kept to a minimum by director George Pal, whose footage from earlier sci-fi films appears in Dr. Lao’s climactic “Woldercan” apocalypse sequence.
This film has many beautiful lessons including; the power of love, music, sharing, and simply the marvel of our existence.
Tony Randall moves in & out of characters brilliantly, showing off his Broadway acting talents in ways that simultaneously delight & amaze.
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Randall’s summary monologue, which is incomprehensible to the 8-year-old boy, is quoted by Joel Robinson (Joel Hodgeson) as he’s exiting the Satellite of Love in MST3K— leaving the series he created.
Joel Exits the Satellite of Love
Mystery Science Theater 3000 is famous for punning bad movies, but it is really much more. MST3K is about a deeper understanding of life, and part of that is saying “No!” to the garbage that Hollywood keeps trying to feed us. It is possibly the most brilliant & hilarious television show ever produced; running for ten seasons from 1989-99– mostly on the Comedy Channel.
It is no longer syndicated due to copyright issues, but many of its episodes can be viewed here.
The Circus of Dr. Lao as well as Mystery Science Theater 3000 are both classics which deserve to be experienced, as their universal themes remain relevant to all film-loving audiences.
More Like Us?
Preface: Imagine Paul singing to the tune of Sgt. Peppers–
“It was 34 years ago today/ They murdered the best who ever was to play…”
There is not much new to be said about John Lennon. Suffice it to say that for many, he was the greatest single figure in pop music history. Murdered at age 40, just as he was undergoing a renaissance of creativity that surely would have carried him through his middle age years with vitality and dignity, the loss of his art to humanity is incalculable. It’s no exaggeration to state that this sentiment is shared by millions. Go to YouTube; watch his videos & read the comments. People are still genuinely angry, hurt, and saddened over his death. No other musician who died prematurely, including giants like Otis Redding, Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix and Charlie Parker; none of them have managed to stay in the mind of popular consciousness like the figure of John Lennon.
Perhaps it is the fact that he was assassinated, while the others mentioned (except Redding) were, in some form, victims of a self-inflicted death. Lennon was always a leader and rebel genius. His ideas, lifestyle, and his music were perceived as dangerous to the ruling class. For years in the 1970’s he was under surveillance by the FBI as a subversive, and the US government attempted more than once to have his visa cancelled in order to deport him back to England. More than any other popular artist in my lifetime, Lennon was a political figure. “Imagine”, one of his greatest songs, is a socialist anthem for human rationality. In the aftermath of 9/11, two decades distant from his slaying, that song was blacklisted from all commercial radio stations, due to its content. That is the staying power of art.
Better than decadent US version
One quality that must be admired in Lennon, was his ability to see his mistakes, his missteps; and then take corrective action before they became serious character flaws. One example would be his experimentalism with psychedelia which seemed promising around the Revolver/ Sgt. Peppers period and reached its peak with “Strawberry Fields Forever.”John Lennon, the leader of this style, was the one who pulled the Beatles out of it; allowing the band to redefine itself again with the White Album, Let it Be and Abbey Road. Today psychedelia is considered a relic of the 1960’s, and those last Beatles records are acknowledged classics, largely due to Lennon’s leadership. The same pattern repeats itself in his dabbling with eastern mysticism/TM and his naïve bed-in approach to protest imperialist war. John Lennon was a restless spirit searching for answers, and often seemingly boxed himself in; but like any gifted magician, managed to extricate himself while becoming wiser in the process. The rebuilding process he repeatedly went through, was a painful period of self-honesty that allowed personal growth and renewal. This allowed his music to remain fresh, while many of his contemporaries stagnated, and is the mark of an ever-improving creative genius. It is the primary reason his life is still a standard for all other artists.
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More Like Us? credits:
RS: guitar & vocals
TomP: percussion & production
Craig Roy: bass
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Spirit of the Road
RS: guitar, bass, and vocal; TomP: percussion & production
Floridians are crazy about football (HS & NCAA), NASCAR, and golf. The Daytona 500 is the Great American Race; the annual Super Bowl of racing held every February– officially opening racing season. NASCAR is second, only to the NFL, among professional sports franchises in US television ratings.
People native to central Florida, know & love NASCAR.
I am nowhere near being the greatest driver ever; but I can handle a stick. Many of my former patients were/are huge racing fans, and knowing their sport helped me get them to relax. It often started a discussion, which allowed them to build a relationship of trust with a Yankee doctor.
As a general rule, southerners take racing & driving much more seriously than northerners. The National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing (NASCAR) is head-quartered in Daytona, FL; which dominates North American racing; asphalt & off-road. Founded in 1947/48 by Bill France, Sr. (and still majority owned & controlled by the France family), NASCAR controls the lion’s share of the $3.1 billion annual revenue the sport generates.
The International Motorsports Hall of Fame is in Talladega, Alabama. This institution, built by Big Bill France in 1982, claims to be “dedicated to enshrining those who have contributed the most to the sport of auto racing either as a driver, owner, developer or engineer.”
The vast majority (around 90%) of inductees are white American, predominantly NASCAR drivers; which mars this institution’s validity. Indy Car & Formula One racing have always been dominated by European & South American drivers, yet just two non-Americans have been enshrined into the International Motorsports Hall of Fame since 2003.
NASCAR’s modern era began in 1972, when it secured its first title sponsor, R.J. Reynolds Tobacco. When big tobacco & distilleries were banned from television advertising; they quickly turned to NASCAR as a new promotional outlet for their target demographic.
–Yellow Flag! CAUTION!
In the midwest, there is low visibility with snow & sleet; along with icy roads in the winter.
Drivers learn to be cautious, because you can’t drive fast on ice; if you try, you end up in a snow-filled ditch. The good news: it’s a soft landing. The bad news: it’s an expensive tow bill, plus it sucks being the idiot everyone remembers as they slowly glide past you. When the trucks are all out, it can be quite a wait, so always have a warm blanket in the trunk.
–Green Flag! GO!
Different climates mean different rules. Down here it [usually] rains a lot in the summer; but that’s it, so people drive fast because they can. In Florida the unwritten driving rules were laid down by Dale Earnhardt #3– the “Intimidator.” His style was aggressive, as he would wreck other drivers just to win a race, then bullshit his way through the post-race interview; victimized drivers never bought it. Racing fans either loved him or hated him, as he was the Ty Cobb of racing.
The end came quickly & tragically for #3 at Daytona, on February 18, 2001; when he crashed into a wall and was killed instantly on impact, on the final lap of the Daytona 500. He had been continuously blocking faster cars during the final laps, in order to ensure a 1-2 finish for team members Michael Waltrip & Dale Earnhardt, Jr. Here’s the video with over 2 million views: pay attention to the replay at around 3:30, and decide for yourself.
–Black Flag! DISQUALIFICATION!
NASCAR is a serious sport, with a thin margin for error. For decades, NASCAR ignored & dismissed improvements in safety, citing them as “unnecessarily expensive.” The list of NASCAR drivers killed on the track includes: Earnhardt, Adam Petty, and Kenny Irwin– the latter both died just two months apart during practice, when their throttles stuck wide open, causing them to crash full speed into the wall of a turn. Driving 180-200 MPH can be a terrifying (and deadly) experience, unless the driver is in complete control of the vehicle.
NASCAR Camping World Truck Series– October 13, 2000: Tony Roper’s Ford pick-up is pushed into a sudden hard-right turn, causing his truck to impact into a concrete wall at full speed. Tony Roper died the next day from his sustained injuries. Very few have the nerve, reflexes, and driving skill to safely compete at this level.
In the mid-2000s, NASCAR redesigned the racing vehicle with safety improvements; a higher roof, wider cockpit, and the driver seat located more towards the center of the vehicle. Earnhardt’s death in 2001 prompted NASCAR to require all drivers to use the “HANS” (Head And Neck Support) Device. This device keeps a driver’s head & neck from whip-lashing forward, in a wreck. Basilar skull fracture is the common cause of death in head-on car crashes.
–Pit Stop! REFUEL & CHECK CAR!
At race speeds, Sprint Cup cars average 5 MPG. NASCAR vehicles are unregulated by the EPA, and have no mufflers, catalytic converters, or other emission-control devices. Leaded fuel was banned in the US in the 1970’s, but not completely discontinued from the Sprint Cup series until 2008.
Many Florida drivers try to emulate their NASCAR heroes, on public streets & highways, everyday. Florida has the highest pedestrian casualty rate in the US. A popular local bumper-sticker reads “Watch for Motorcycles”, often found on 2-ton trucks that roar through neighborhoods creating pollution & roadkill. Check their fenders.
The predominant attitude on-the-road in Florida is: Me first! Tailgating, cutting-off other drivers, and angry driving are the leading causes of pedestrian deaths; along with texting and cell phone use while driving. It’s the distraction of attention that counts, so get your head out of your apps!
–Red Flag! STOP!
Streets, roads & highways only work right, if everyone cooperates and follows the rules– which we were all taught in Driver’s Ed:
1. Signals– every time; other drivers aren’t mind readers.
2. Lights– when raining, snowing, and at dusk until daybreak.
3. Seatbelts & helmets for motorcyclists.
4. Obey the speed limit, especially in city & residential areas; conversely, if you are holding up traffic– pull over and be considerate to let others through, while you take a minute to figure it out.
5. Don’t tailgate– it just makes slow drivers slower, and creates dangerous situations.
There are far too many drivers on the road, who have no idea where they are going or why? This confusion creates congestion & frustration for everyone. Figure out problems, before going into the real world. In the meantime, consider & use mass-transit or alternative options; as indecision is hazardous on the road– to the driver & others.
What is a car? Answers are in order of importance:
A car is a tool (as well as a symbol) for freedom of movement.
A car is the primary cause of global warming.
If money is owed on it, or insurance & maintenance need to be paid, etc.; a car is a liability.
A car is a status symbol; in what you drive, as well as HOW you drive.
–Pink Flag! GO DADDY GIRL!
I’m 10-10 on the side
Danica Patrick is the best thing that ever happened to NASCAR popularity, assuring her a spot in the field for as long as she feels competitive, to the derision of ‘purists.’ No other driver has autograph sessions that look like this:
Hardcore racing fans have been slow to come around to her, but she is a respectable driver. [1]
In NASCAR she’s a lower-tier driver with an A-team and fast car, who gets middling results, due to her age & lack of experience in this racing style. Any other NASCAR driver got a video this good?
Danica Patrick comes from Indy & Formula One open-wheel racing, where banging other cars isn’t allowed because of the narrow cockpit inside the wheels. The rule in open-wheel racing is to avoid contact as much as possible, because as soon as wheels touch at 220 MPH, there’s high risk of an accident. The number of drivers in an Indy car field is half of NASCAR’s, meaning more room for drivers. Open-wheel has more road race courses, which emphasize manoeuvrability, as compared to the all-out speed of the left-turn oval super speedways of NASCAR.
Patrick competed for years on the open-wheel circuit, and increased it’s popularity while changing its demographics. She is now past her athletic prime, learning a new, more reckless style of competitive racing– where cars have protective armor, and some ‘swapping paint’ is allowed at 200 MPH. Keeping the greasy side down & not wrecking others is enough for her fans, at this point.
Danica Patrick proves herself racing smart, by teaming up with Tony Stewart. “Smoke” is one of the best drivers ever, winning the Indy Series (1997), NASCAR Sprint Cup Series (2002, 05, & 11), and USAC National Midget Series championships. Stewart is one of two drivers (also J.J. Yeley in 2003) to ever win NASCAR’s “triple crown” [Silver Crown, Sprint Car, and Midget Car], which he did in the 1995 season. He has never won the Daytona 500, which is the only blemish on his ‘all-time greatest driver’ resume.
Dale Earnhardt, Sr. won 7 NASCAR series championships– most all-time [tied with Richard Petty]; and one Daytona 500 [to Petty’s seven]; with 76 career wins. Both hail from North Carolina. Petty’s 200 career wins is an unbreakable record, earning him the title– the “King.”
He & David Pearson dominated stock car racing in its early era.
David Pearson from South Carolina, won 3 stock car series championships (the only 3 years he ran a full schedule in his career), and one Daytona 500. The “Fox” won 105 races, second all-time to Petty’s 200; running in less than half of Petty’s total starts. Old-timers often consider David Pearson the best driver ever, and Richard Petty doesn’t seem to disagree anymore.
A. J. Foyt #14, like Stewart, was versatile; the only driver to ever win the Daytona 500 & the Indianapolis 500– which he won 4 times. “Super Tex” also won midget and other NASCAR dirt-track series. He is most fortunate to have survived at least three death-defying crashes.
Jimmie Johnson #48, is a 6-time NASCAR Sprint Cup champion, and 2-time Daytona 500 winner. Johnson is nearing the end of his incredible run, and currently has 69 career wins– the second-best active total, as of this writing.
Jeff Gordon #24, is a 4-time Sprint Cup champion, winning 3 Daytona 500’s.
He currently has 92 career wins, third all-time; and by far the most in the modern era (1972-present). Gordon is also the active iron-man leader for consecutive races, consecutive seasons winning a pole (22), and is NASCAR’s career-earnings leader.
Johnson & Gordon are from California, which is a problem for some NASCAR ‘purists,’ who prefer good ‘ol boy over pretty boy drivers. The Confederate flag is ubiquitous & synonymous with NASCAR, a symbolic barrier that separates traditional race fans from most newbies.
–White Flag! FINAL LAP!
Tony Stewart is from Indiana, and his total of 48 wins places him 3rd on the active career list. This accident was NOT his fault.
This is what happens when a hotheaded youngster runs into the middle of a live racetrack, instead of waiting until after the race to express his frustrations. Tony Stewart’s view was blocked by the #45 car that whizzes past Kevin Ward, Jr, just before Stewart comes sliding around the corner– with no chance to swerve around him.
Tony Stewart has publicly raised awareness among racing fans, concerning manipulative use by NASCAR officials, of suspiciously-timed caution flags. As Stewart has pointed out repeatedly: a race can be controlled in the tower, by the people who decide when to drop a yellow flag for “debris on the track,” etc…
Respect for Tony Stewart among all NASCAR drivers, helps protect teammate Danica Patrick (and ensure her fans), that no one will intentionally wreck her. That definitely wasn’t the case, when Patrick first started on the pole, at her first Daytona 500 in 2012.
This is precisely what NASCAR needed; as declining ticket sales due to the lack of good jobs, has hit their traditional fan-base the hardest. Danica Patrick (Beloit, Wisconsin) moves NASCAR into an entirely new demographic, that will challenge this sport in a way it has never been before. NASCAR needs the dollar$ too much to ignore her popularity. They also won’t be able to ignore the message of her more educated, more northern fan-base: safety first for everybody, fair racing– no wrecking, reducing noise pollution & emissions, eventually solar/renewable, etc…
To those who say, “Ban NASCAR and racing,” the answer is: “Get real!” NASCAR fans say, “Fuck you!”; then run you down on the road. Racing will NEVER be banned, because so many people EVERYWHERE passionately love it.
The strongest brand endorsement comes in NASCAR. These numbers tell you much of what you need to know about this sport; and the stat that jumps out is 66% of NASCAR fans are willing to PAY MORE for the product their favorite driver is sponsoring. This means a typical Jimmie Johnson fan will drive past a more convenient Home Depot, to spend his/her money across town at Lowe’s– even when it costs more to shop there.
–Checkered Flag! RACE OVER!
–Victory Lane! FINAL DISCUSSION!
Tim Richmond is the ultimate shooting star in modern NASCAR history, coming onto the scene as the 1980 Indianapolis 500 Rookie of the Year. Richmond had only 13 victories during eight NASCAR seasons; but 7 came in 1986– best on the circuit, while finishing 3rd in points. Richmond was from Ohio, but his nickname was “Hollywood,” for his partying lifestyle; which led to him to contract HIV in 1986. He eventually became weakened by AIDS, and missed the Daytona 500 in February 1987. He competed in only eight races in 1987, and (incredibly) won twice before his final race in August.
In 1988, NASCAR banned Richmond’s comeback attempt; allegedly for testing positive for a banned substance. After NASCAR insisted on violating Richmond’s right to medical privacy, he withdrew from racing. Tim Richmond died of complications due to AIDS, in 1989. NASCAR later stated their original test was false.
NASCAR is often compared to the NBA, because the Daytona 500 & NBA All-Star game compete head-to-head for mid-February TV ratings. Every year, twice as many people tune into the Daytona 500, as compared to the NBA All-Star game. Racing & basketball are also contrasted as a ‘white’ sport versus a ‘black’ sport. This leads to parallels drawn between Tim “Hollywood” Richmond & Earvin “Magic” Johnson of the “Showtime” L.A. Lakers. Earvin Johnson acknowledged his problem, educated himself, and took corrective action.
NASCAR fans, that is how Magic survived. Let it be a lesson.
Re-edited w/ photo additions on 2-26-16
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The last time I voted was Bush v. Gore 2000.
For the record, I lived in Mount Dora, FL, and I cast my vote for Ralph Nader.
Who knows how it was counted?
Votes are now counted electronically.
It has been proven (over & over) that anyone can easily manipulate the software in the Electronic Voting Machines (EVM’s), to intentionally miscount votes.
Both Democrats & Republicans do it in the districts they control, as much as they are allowed by the other party.
Three companies control 90+% of the EVM market– Sequoia, Diebold, ES&S.
Please Recycle
The 435 congressional seats up for grabs (the lower house of the legislature), represent a net-worth of $2 billion this time around.
Their money goes straight to Madison Avenue, which exclusively serves the interests of Wall Street.
Political advertising is void of serious content.
Attack campaigns are the Madison Avenue norm; reflecting their ideology of violence & hate, combined with ignorance & fear.
In this election cycle, there has been zero serious discussion of: US militarism & torture, domestic spying, police brutality, 20+% real unemployment, social inequality, global warming; or any other significant issue.
Over 60% of eligible U.S. voters will abstain on November 4; out of apathy, protest, or disgust.
Those are your early returns on the only numbers that matter in this election.